Family Identity
Is the Christian family really different from the secular family, since however we understand the family, it always boils down to a small community of people of at least two generations who are bound together by biological, social and cultural ties - is there a real difference?
Well yes there is. Basically, the Christian family tries to express what the family truly is, whereas the secular family tries to express what it thinks the family might be! What does this mean?
It means that the secular family responds pragmatically to the changeable notions and goals of secular society instead of responding to something more basic. So, for instance, today's consumerist culture fails to properly recognise the spiritual bonds between family members: parents see children as 'property' or live out their own lives through their children. Young people avoid the marriage contract and live together anyway, precisely because the new culture of 'property' has invaded the realm of personal relationships. The secular family tends to be nothing more than a reflection of society and carries within it the unanswered question about its own identity.
On the other hand, the Christian family is open to God and sees children as a gift, 'lent' to parents for a time. And that the responsibility of family members to one another is primarily a spiritual and moral responsibility. Furthermore, marriage is the unique basis of the family.
These differences point to something more radical: that there is such a thing as 'the truth about the family'. That the family is not just a cultural or political reality, but that it possesses an essential nature - it has its own truth. Now, all families, whether they realise it or not are related to this truth.
Where does the truth about the family come from? It comes from the human person's fundamental natural inclination for conjugal union and need for society. Furthermore, the Bible shows that God himself has willed the family in creation. This truth has been witnessed to by different human and Christian cultures down through history and was emphasised in the great 1948 Declaration of Human Rights.
How do we take hold of the 'truth about the family'? Today, neither culture nor society lead people to this 'practical truth' about the family. It is principally the Church and the person's Christian faith which will enable people to build their own families in such a way that they reflect the 'truth about the family' and not the culture's contemporary notion of what the family might be. The Church recognises that the family is an essential and primary good of mankind. Indeed, John Paul II said that "the future of humanity passes by way of the family." (Familiaris Consortio, 86) The family is not a reflection of society, but rather it is society's foundation. Not only is this the case but, Jesus Christ enables men and women to experience the truth about the family in a new way, by enabling the family to fully discover and live its own truth.
The family has a mission in which it takes hold of its own genuine identity. John Paul II speaks about this mission in his 1981 letter Familiaris Consortio. This Apostolic Letter is the most significant 'navigational tool' which the family currently possesses. He describes four tasks of the family in which its own truth is found and expressed:
Forming a community of persons. Faithfulness to the effort required to develop and nurture interpersonal relationships within the family.
Serving life. The mission of parents to transmit human life through the gift of fertility, and their primary role as educators.
Participating in the development of society. The family is the first and true school of humanity; it is the family which gives rise to society.
Sharing in the life and mission of the Church. The family and the Church are intimately related: the Church gives rise to the family, and the family promotes and nurtures the Church.
These tasks of the family 'contain' the full truth about the family. It is Christ who shows us this truth and empowers men and women to live that truth and so find their own fulfilment in God's plan. It is Christ who makes possible for the family a new and greater life.
"Family, become what you are!" (Familiaris Consortio, 17)