The Eucharist and the family

The Eucharist and the family – a greater way of living

Putting the Eucharist, source of life and culture, back into marriage and the family.

Modern culture has placed a false idea of freedom before the gift of fertility, marriage and responsible parenthood. The real issue remains that of the openness of men and women to the gift of the fullness of life and love found in the person of Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God. John Paul II taught that the Eucharist "is the sacrament of the Bridegroom and of the Bride." (Mulieris Dignitatem, 26) So too, the Eucharist is the sacrament of the family since husbands and wives are called to be witnesses "of the faith and love of Christ to one another and to their children." (Lumen Gentium, 35) The Eucharist contains the whole truth about love.

Marriage is a natural reality which is given a new meaning by Christ so that it can express Christian values. In Christ, marriage expresses the New Covenant. Secular culture pretends that God isn’t there, but in so doing men and women lose sight of both the sacrament and of the natural bond of marriage; love’s extension and depth are concealed. In such a culture the Eucharist, as the gift of total love, becomes an anomaly reserved for the eccentric. In fact, the Eucharist is the plan and mission for human life and love; why else would Jesus give himself to us as the "Bread of life"?

Benedict XVI addressing the Congress of the Diocese of Rome (June 2005) said "Marriage and the family are not a casual sociological construct, fruit of particular historical and economic situations. On the contrary, the question of the right relationship between man and woman sinks its roots in the most profound essence of the human being, and can only find its answer in the latter." A journey must be undertaken by men and women today, in order to rediscover the truth about love; how can this journey be undertaken?

The first step is to rediscover the truth about the human person. A profound disunity has been introduced into human nature since Creation and, there is only one way to rediscover the full truth of the person and live according to this truth: become a disciple of the one who makes this possible. Freedom lies at the heart of humanity’s creation in the image and likeness of God. In the beginning men and women could enjoy the whole truth about themselves and, in so doing, know that that they were called to exist for each other, to be a gift to the other. The surrender of one’s life, which the Gospel stresses, seems paradoxical. How and, for that matter, why should one cede one’s life to another? Yet this truth finds its climax in Christ’s commandment of love; I am created not for myself, but for another. Self-gift is the fundamental ethos of human life. It is in an encounter with Christ that I discover my freedom.

The Eucharist is a gift to a person’s freedom: when I move towards Christ, my freedom becomes true. To be free means to give one’s self to another. Christ liberates the person to make a gift of him or herself:

"Every time that we consciously share in [the Eucharist], there opens in our souls a real dimension of that unfathomable love that includes everything that God has done and continues to do for us human beings, … We not only know love; we ourselves begin to love. We enter, so to speak, upon the path of love and along this path make progress. Thanks to the Eucharist, the love that springs up within us from the Eucharist develops in us, becomes deeper and grows stronger." (Dominicae Cenae, 5)

This teaching of John Paul II speaks about the personal nature of an encounter with Christ in the Eucharist; it is not surprising that he should call the Eucharist a "Mystery of Light", "thanks to which believers are led into the depths of the divine life." (Abide with us Lord, 11) In the Eucharist I am taken possession of by Christ and the spousal meaning of the Eucharist is expressed.

The second step consists in the rediscovery of the truth about human sexuality. John Paul II has helped us to rediscover the "nuptial meaning of the body" - that human love is personal; the body expresses the gift of the person. In order to rediscover this, men and women must look beyond what is physical or pragmatic; it is not sexuality which gives value to a person, but it is the person who gives value to sexuality. So, we should ask: What must love be like in order to discover God’s eternal plan of love in it? This question was the basis of Paul VI’s Encyclical Humanae Vitae. It is in either Christian marriage or continence for the Kingdom that I can do this. Both these ways distinguish and reverence the nuptial meaning of the body, for it is only in freely giving oneself to another, that I truly discover myself. Today, men and women are trying to discover sexuality as the key to self-giving. In fact, self-giving is the key to sexuality.

The gift of the Eucharist does not ask for explanation but openness; it is a greatest gift since it expresses the greatest human good. My response to the Eucharist is my response to the novelty of the Incarnation: it leads me to embrace the gift of my sexuality as a pathway to loving. Moreover, Christ takes wounded human love and enables it to participate in His love for the Church. That is why alongside the Eucharist we find the sacrament of Penance.

The third step involves the rediscovery of marriage. Since sexuality is the context in which self-giving occurs, we must unpick the meaning of self-giving. Married love is the love of the whole person for the whole of his or her spouse. This love is distinct from other kinds of love, attraction, desire, friendship etc. Becoming "one flesh", brought about by self-gift, defines the unique nature of marriage. It is primarily of a union of wills and, only secondarily in a bodily union. All that is truly natural about marriage - companionship, trust, patience, sexual union, self-renunciation and self-giving is taken up by Christ and becomes a way of holiness. "Christ provided for the creation and growth of … unity by the outpouring of his Holy Spirit. And he himself constantly builds it up by his Eucharistic presence." (Abide with us Lord, 20) So, when John Paul II asks: "what are the implications [of the Eucharist] for Christian life and spirituality?" (Abide with us, Lord 11), we should look anew at marriage in the light of the Eucharist. The Eucharist is the greatest way in which spouses acknowledge "the Bridegroom in [their] midst as they entrusted themselves to each other for their whole life, so the Good Shepherd is also with us today as the reason for [their] hope, the source of strength for [their] hearts, the wellspring of ever new enthusiasm and the sign of triumph of the ‘civilisation of love’". (Letter to families, 18)

It is not the spouses who must make their love holy; in their consent, they are inserted into Christ’s love. So, it is Christ’s presence which makes holy the love of the spouses. This is why, for Christians, marriage cannot be anything but is a sacrament. For them marriage is a meeting place of human and divine love. Christian men and women are called, in marriage, to express both human and divine love! The nuptial meaning of the Eucharist is witnessed to in Christian marriage for not only are spouses called to reveal each other’s dignity, they are called to live the Eucharist: the call to incarnate Christ’s love into their life – overcoming their weaknesses and making a total self-gift to the other, so that from sexual communion to daily life together, a new way of living, a life of communion, comes about.

Finally, we must rediscover the family. "The family, which gives the ‘world’ its meaning in the most rudimentary sense – for it constantly brings new people into the world – should also be the place where the consecration of the world begins." (Wojtyla, Person and Community, p355) The full truth about human love is the family. "By its very nature … married love is ordered to the procreation and education of offspring and it is in them that it finds its crowning glory." (Gaudium et Spes, 48) The Second Vatican Council made it clear that parenthood is the central meaning of married life and that the task of parents is to make a gift of mature humanity to the children born of the marriage. However, the fruits of love are themselves gifts and only authentic married love is able to "comprehend the real meaning of the gift of persons in marriage." (Letter to families, 20)

The Eucharist is also the sacrament of the family, in which spouses are witnesses of Christ to one another and to their children; the Eucharist enables spouses "to experience fully the beauty and mission of the family." (Abide with us, Lord, 30)

John Paul II describes the Eucharist as "a mode of being, which passes from Jesus into each Christian, through whose testimony it is meant to spread throughout society and culture." (ibid, 25) For spouses, who have been given a responsibility for caring for the goods of salvation, their way of living should be marked by the Mystery of Christ’s death and resurrection. The true values of family life do not become incarnate in the family without a firm and mutual decision to live them each day. Spontaneity does not suffice – reaffirmation is needed. Participating in the Eucharist, identifying with Christ in His gesture of love will help family members discover how to give themselves to each other and be His witnesses.

The Eucharist is a gift to weak and doubting men and women, given to inspire and guide human love towards its true destiny: union with God. Secular culture today offers an incorrect basis and goal for marriage and love. The task for Christian men and women is to rediscover human love, which is rooted in every person but which is fully expressed in the Eucharist. It is a life which is radically different from that which the world espouses since it consists in the renewal of human life based upon truth and made possible by grace.

Fr Richard Aladics 2005